Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
