Too much gin, very little bucket
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
