with your own penis?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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