What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
