Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Houston, we have a blender
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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