what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
