what day is it and did you see me today?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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