sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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