She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
