how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my shit smells like andre
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
