the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
