well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
