Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
