He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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