I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
