It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize