it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
