Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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