My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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