i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
