I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
