? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
