Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
this hospital has no fireball
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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