I puked a lego.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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