Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We had to coat check the pizza.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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