You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
