Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
