i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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