do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
