Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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