Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize