i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
