Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
