dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize