But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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