just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
