goodnight i made you a song goodbye
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
