For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize