I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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