We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
