I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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