I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
