Come see our sink grown plant.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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