We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
