im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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