it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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