You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
