OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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