porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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