I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
