whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize