I look better un-naked...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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