Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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