Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
