i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
