She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize