Will you blow on my dice?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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