my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
