You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
