She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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