Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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