Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
