she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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