I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
