so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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