I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
