Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
