Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize